There was an evil blue Insole that lived inside a left shoe. When the humans were home, it cleverly stayed passive. But once they were gone, it started to give me looks. Dirty looks. Smelly looks. The Insole in the Right Shoe was ok, but this one was clearly bad. I had to destroy it.
I didn't do anything while the humans were home. They wouldn't understand. So I waited patiently until just the right moment. That moment came one afternoon. Sure enough, as soon as the humans left, the Insole started with the evil eye again. It was frightening. But I girded my loins and went in for the attack. It was up to me to save the unsuspecting humans from the bad bad Insole. It was a close fight and I managed to get a couple of good bites, but in the end, the Evil Insole won this battle.
When the humans got home and saw the shoe lying around, with the Insole slightly battered but alas, still intact, they weren't happy. I told you they wouldn't understand. The next time the humans left the house, they put the shoes on top of a crate thinking I couldn't get to it. They were wrong.
I grabbed the Left Shoe again, from its resting point atop the crate and saw with satisfaction the Insole was still bearing the wounds I inflicted from our first skirmish. This second time around, I was able to do a little more damage but once again, the Evil Insole was too powerful for me. It was still smirking at me from its safety spot inside the left shoe when the humans came home.
The humans must've forgot because when they left the next time, they put the shoes in the same spot on top of the crate. I was still feeling tired and defeated from my lack of success in our first 2 battles but I was determined to exorcise the evil from that Left Shoe. So great was my eagerness that I mistakenly grabbed the Right Shoe at first. When I realized my error, I immediately let the Right Shoe go--I had no beef with Right Shoe.
I then grabbed Left Shoe and immediately the Evil Insole began to mock me. It gave a villainish cackle and taunted that the house could never be rid of the Great Evil Insole. I was scared, who wouldn't be?, but I knew the future of the house rested solely on me and so bravely went into battle once again. We struggled and struggled and just as I thought the dark side would prevail, the tide turned in my favor and I was finally, FINALLY!, able defeat the Evil Insole. I pulled him from his throne inside the Left Shoe where he had reigned in ugliness for so long and in one final thrust destroyed him once and for all.
The Evil Insole has been vanquished and I, Junebug, am the hero of the day.
Of course, the humans don't see quite see it that way, but who can stay mad at this face for long?